When I grow up, what will I be?
When I grow up? But, I’ll never grow up. What will I be? But, I’m already everything. How much more should I be expected to grow? What else am I expected to be? How much higher could one possibly grow? This is it. I am it. I am all that. I’ll never be like that, like them. They call themselves adults, and say that ‘that’ is the goal; that I should attain to be like them. You know, the ones with jobs, and schedules, responsibilities, routines, regulations... the programmed ones, like robots, with learned behavior. They’re ones that have already conformed to the patterns of social wannabe’s. Well, as I said, I don’t want to be... I all ready am everything that there is to be. I am perfect. I am free. I am happy. I am I.
I am a beautiful creature, that’s just like God, in every way. I am adored, and admired, and, even envied. Yet, I don’t even notice. I don’t pay attention to anything too much. Focus makes my head hurt with boredom. I love to play, and dance, and sing. I like to get all dressed up, even when I don’t have anywhere to go. I like to eat foods that are good for the senses, the body, and, the soul. I love to do nothing. Having nothing to do is so much better than having everything to do. I love to smile, and laugh. I love to sleep, and swim. I love to love.
“Tell me about butterflies and bees.”
Why should I want to grow up? I don’t want to be like them. I want to be like me. Being me is happiness. Life is blissful, and there is no reason to be angry, because, I am a child, and, in my world, everything belongs to me. Everything is mine. Sometimes I have to ask for it... other times, All I have to do is pick it up and take it. But, I know that it is already mine, because life is free, and everything in life is free. Then why should I ever find a reason to be angry? Anger isn’t any fun. It makes life feel bad, and I don’t like when life feels bad, because then, I feel like I’m becoming like them. I don’t want to be like them. They have to die, someday. I am going to live forever, everyday.
Today is just like yesterday. I was born yesterday. So, this world is new, and fresh, and there is so much to learn about. There are so many places to go, and so many people to meet, and, so many things to do. The world is like a rainbow that is fruit-filled and sweet. I can’t wait to taste it all. You can’t imagine how great it felt being born again. Tonight, when I sleep, I hope I die. Then I can be born into the new day, when the sun rises. That way, I’ll never get old.
Twinkle twinkle from a far, this I don’t know, who you are. Up above, you glow so bright, like a ray of eternal light. Little star, Brightest light for all to see. Glowing, glistening, pixie queen. Star of Ra, great star of All. Never to fall, Belle of the Ball.
And I’m in love with the most beautiful boy in the whole wide world. And, He doesn’t even know that he is the most beautiful boy in the whole wide world. He thinks that he is ugly. I think that he is perfect. He is perfect, just like me, and we would make the perfect pair. Together, He and I, the whole world would stop revolving just to turn its head and take a second look. Surely this is far beyond a crush. I am absolutely in love. I see him in my dreams, and when I wake up, he is the first thought on my mind. And, all day long, everything I see, or hear, or smell, or touch, reminds me of him. Everything that I do, and everywhere that I go is inspired by him, and I even pray to him every night before I go to sleep. And I always miss him when he can’t be there with me. I do love him. I think about what our first kiss might be like – what it might be like to finally hold his hand and stroll in the park. I wonder about what our kids might be like. HA! I know, me – having kids of my own. Well, it’s a far off dream, but I like it. Oh, but I do. I really do love him. I used to like him – and I still do; but it is so much more now. ‘Like’ would be an understatement, and, frankly, an insult to my emotional intelligence.
The sweetest memory that I have is the first day we kissed. I remember, just like it was today. And from the moment we touched, I felt alive, en-wrapped with total bliss. It was like... an access, to the excess, of ecstasy. A fantasy, a perfect dream; that made me never want to wake up. And I never wanted to fall asleep, for fear that it might end, that one perfect memory. And I shared it with him; my very best friend.
